


Give Me Hope In The Darkness

by Madamevastra



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Hot after battle sex, Reylo - Freeform, rey gets knocked up by ben
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-03-08 03:29:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13449591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madamevastra/pseuds/Madamevastra
Summary: "Give me hope in the darkness so that I can see the light"What if Kylo Ren and Rey had hot steamy sex after their battle in the red room in The Last Jedi?We all wanted it.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Join me for the ride of Ben and Rey in love, as it should be.

Prologue

 

Rey closed her eyes and  reactively jerked back, hitting the ground. The pain that she had expected  from Ben's blow didn't come.  He hadn't struck her down, she immediately realized, but the room had went deadly silent. Something had happened. Rey looked up at Ben. He was no longer looking at her with an intent to kill. He was looking straight ahead. Rey followed his gaze. She saw Snoke impaled with light saber, the same light saber that was now coming forward towards her. She instinctively grabbed it and stood up to face Ben.  Snoke was dead and Ben had killed him.

Time had stopped, it seemed in that moment.  Rey looked into Ben's eyes and she could feel that everything  was as it was meant to be. Snoke gone. Ben had betrayed him and it was as her vision had told her. Ben Solo would turn. And she would help him. Snoke had claimed to connect them through the force, but it was more than that obviously.  This connection that they shared was fate.

Rey had sensed from the moment that Ben had agreed that he was a monster, that she could redeem him. Ben Solo wasn’t just a one sided guy. He wasn’t all dark. That’s what he wanted everyone to think of him. It was all a front when in fact Ben Solo was utterly split in the soul. Snoke's constant pull to the dark side had loomed on Ben his entire life and yet his natural desires gravitated him to where he truly belong. To the light. But Ben was ever conflicted. Snoke's influence was always there and Ben never got the chance to feel that there was any other way. There was only the dark side. That was all he knew.

But now, there was also Rey and that was a whole different entire side.


	2. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of the novelization and like a long wait since the prologue, here's a bitchin chapter for youuuuuuu!

 

_How did I end up here?_ She thinks.

_I had to do it._ He thinks.

Rey looked into Ben's eyes and she knew just exactly how she ended up here. It was the force bond. It was Ben. Rey had come to think of Ben as a monster. And make no mistake, he was. He had killed people; his own father. That didn’t excuse what he had just done but now Rey, she couldn't help but feel compelled by him.

This was a man that murdered people. Used the force corruptively and seemed to have no regrets about any of it, but Rey knew better. She understood him now. Through their force bond she had gotten to know Ben on a personal level.  She learned that he was aware of who he was and what he had done. Even though he owned up to his actions, there was no pride. No pride in killing his father. He saw his actions as a way to prove his allegiance to Snoke; to make his pain of being torn between the light and dark to stop like Snoke had promised, but it didn’t help him. Killing his father only tore him further away from who he was. He was no longer light from doing so, but the act didn’t make him more dark.  The pain that Kylo felt from his father's loss was still there and Rey could feel it whenever they would talk.

_"You're not alone," He comforted her._

_"Neither are you," she instinctively responded._

That moment ran through her thoughts as she stood in front of Ben now. He had comforted her then. When she felt like no one else would understand her, he did. He had basically told her that she wasn’t alone in this universe, that she has someone to confide in, someone to trust. That someone was him. Rey had begun to see Ben in a different light; the light that he belonged to. She clung to that hope. That is why she had reached out to him in truce. He had carefully taken off his glove to reach back out to her with his bare hand. It was pure curiosity, pure hope and vulnerability that brought them together that night. Rey had seen his future, and Ben had seen hers. Their future included the both of them together, but the details were foggy. Rey had seen Ben rejoin the light side and Ben has seen her come to the dark side. So which side was true?

It wasn’t clear what the outcome would be, but if both of them had predicted that they'd come to work together then that had to be the true reality of their futures.  Only now, Rey has assumed that since Ben had killed Snoke, that he had renounced his dark ways and was coming towards the light. Her vision was coming true. Rey wanted Ben to join her in the light. She wanted it so badly because she knew that he could be saved. She knew that Ben was still there in this Kylo Ren persona that he created. He wasn’t all dark, and she would be the one to bring him back. 

 

The red guards started encircling them. There was no time to talk. They knew what they had to do. Rey focused on the force to help guide her fight. She could feel Ben's presence in the force join her. It wasn't like their force bond were they could reach into each other's minds. It was more like they were just there, with the force. There was no light or dark pulling them apart. It was just _them_.

And they fought.

 

It was nearing the end of their battle. They just had to take out the last two remaining guards. Rey was struggling with one and so was Ben. She easily outsmarted the one guard, killing him, when she saw Ben still struggling with his. Rey threw the light saber directly to Ben, as if it was a natural instinct. He then used it to kill the last guard, while keeping direct eye contact with her.

Once they were done defending themselves, they both stared at each other as the realization sunk in. Snoke was dead and they worked together. They actually worked together and fought together. The force brought them together and it was so natural. It was like it was meant to be. As they fought together, Rey felt neither light nor dark within herself. She felt the same within Ben too. When they were together there were no opposing sides of the force. It was just the force, as it was meant to be. And she felt that now as she was looking into Ben's eyes. His eyes felt like fire and death, but they also felt like desire and lust. He emitted power, but not the kind of power that he spent his whole life trying to devote to. This was not the power that Snoke wanted him to grow in to. Snoke was dead and along with his death, died Kylo Ren. Ben now emitted the kind of power that a leader should have; that people would follow. This is what Rey saw in her vision. This was Ben Solo standing across from her.

Ben dropped the light saber and started walking towards her. He had a new attitude about him; he was a liberated man. Rey had to admit to herself that she found herself attracted to this man; his strut, his disheveled hair, his out of breath. It was sexy to be honest. It was all too much for her in that moment. She had thought about Ben before. It was mainly out of curiosity. She wanted to know who he was and why he was the way that he was. She hadn't thought about much else until she accidentally stumbled into a force bond with him when he was shirtless. She did check him out, but briefly. She didn’t want him to know that she was checking him out. In that brief moment though, she had seen enough to fuel her fantasies.  She couldn't help it. The galaxy and the force, were bringing them together. She began to feel like she knew the real Ben Solo the most, out of anyone else.

Ben wasn't hurting anymore, at least for now. It was evident on his face and in his demeanor.

He strutted towards her with a purpose. She guessed what was coming and did nothing to stop it. She wanted it, whatever that was going to happen.

Ben didn’t hesitate to stop or wait for her. He walked right up to her. First cupping her cheeks and then smoothly leaning in for a kiss. Rey hesitated. One second Ben was on the other side other room, and the next his lips were on hers. At feeling her hesitation, Ben pulled away and he opened his eyes to look at her, but her eyes were still closed. He wondered if he had done the wrong thing; gotten the wrong impression. 

He had no experience with things like this. He was only trying to go with his gut, and his gut feeling told him to kiss Rey.

She had unexpectedly came into his life right a pivotal point and he couldn’t hide his growing feelings for her any longer now. He wanted to do something for himself for once. It was either Snoke or her, and he _chose_ her. Rey made him feel alive. Made him feel like he had a choice in all of this. He had felt a connection to her even before they had a force bond. The force bond just unenforced everything that he had already began to suspect. They were destined for each other. He believed it. Hell, he even saw it when they briefly touched hands. Rey and him would be together, they would rule a new order and tear down every ideal that was held now. Ben focused on the part of them being together, though. The thought ran through his mind over and over again. This girl from nowhere, who was no one, a nothing. He was fascinated by her. His fascination quickly grew to attraction and before he knew it, without hesitation he betrayed everything that he had worked for and chose to saved her life.

She was important to him.

 

Ben now watched Rey as he pulled back. He grew worried that he may have completely ruined everything right then by kissing her. He had wanted to kiss her. To taste her lips; to have his lips on hers; to have his body against hers. These thoughts dominated his mind and he had wanted to know what she felt like for a while now.  He had gotten a glimpse of what it felt like to feel her when they had touched hands. It was such an innocent act, but to each of them, it was anything but innocent. It was intimate.

Rey hadn't opened her eyes yet. She hadn't expected him to kiss her, but she had, and when he did for those few seconds it had felt so good, so right. Those few seconds had made her legs weak while her heart grew strong and fast. He had pulled away too soon. When she realized that he wasn’t going to kiss her again, she opened her eyes.

Rey met Ben's eyes and it was as if she was truly looking into the eyes of Ben Solo for the first time. This was him. She had convinced herself that Ben was still there inside Kylo Ren when they had touched hands, when she had openly called him Ben in the elevator and he didn’t correct her. But now, looking into his eyes, she saw Ben Solo, she saw his potential. That was all she needed to confirm her feelings for him.

She nervously leaned towards him. She didn't understand how she could be so nervous. After all they’ve been through, why would something so simple as kissing him make her nervous? She focused her attention to his lips, not wanting to look him in the eyes. She could feel his stare on her. She knew he was watching. She would have to look at him, but he made her feel weak in a good way. Rey didn't want Ben to think she was weak in any way. She slowly glanced up to see him. Ben was here, in front of her letting his guard down. He wanted her, just as much as she wanted him, she was sure. His eyes told her so.  She looked back down to his lips which had begun quivering a little. The intensity between them was growing. She felt it in herself and she felt it in his body language. She liked seeing him opening up and being vulnerable like this. It showed her that Ben wasn't truly a monster. He was a person too.

 

Rey leaned in closer so that her lips barely hovered over his. He wanted to kiss her again, so badly. Ben could sense her nervousness. He was nervous to. _What was he doing?!_ Not too long ago they were fighting against each other and now he wanted to kiss her. The tables have turned and he wasn’t mad about it. It was clear to him that Rey was supposed to be a part of his life. He was still unsure of where they both fit in the galaxy. As long as they were together, he began to believe that everything would be okay.

And so he reached up and gently pulled her chin closer to his so that their lips touched. This time it wasn't quick, and it wasn't just a peck. Rey responded to him urgently. Her lips pressed into his, as he pulled her closer. She had then instantly wondered what it would be like to really kiss him. She let her instincts take over and parted her lips to let him in. Her tongue eased into his mouth, meeting his. She slowly sucked and pulled him closer. This was a new sensation for her, for both of them. Ben was overwhelmed with the pleasure of kissing her, feeling her tongue against his, her face against his. Rey was so warm, so inviting, and he just couldn’t get enough.

Ben wrapped his arm around her back, pulling her into him and pressing her body against his. Rey reacted by pressing herself more on him. They were still kissing, growing more and more intense with desire for the other. They're hands couldn't find a place to rest, as they grew too excited with this new sensation that they could create together. Rey couldn't stop pressing herself into Ben, and they're balance was coming undone. Ben started to walk backwards, seeing they would most likely tumble over if he kept letting her push against him. With his arm still around her, he pulled her along with him. This wasn't going to work out. Them kissing, Rey moving in towards him, Ben trying to keep them upright by slowly walking backwards and pulling her along. They would fall over. And they did. Ben hit the floor first, his back and head getting the blunt of the fall, with Rey landing right on top of him. They had momentarily disconnected in their fall, and hitting the ground had awoken both of them up from their intoxicating trance. 

"Are you okay?" Ben asked her with concern. Rey didn't respond right a way.

"Are you okay." She repeated after him incredulously. She couldn’t believe after all that transpired that he was asking her that now. It was kind of funny in way. So she began to laugh to his surprise.

"Are you okay?!" She repeated once more, loudly in between laughs. Rey rolled off of Ben to lay at his side, still laughing at the situation. Ben didn't understand at first, but he had never heard Rey laugh before. He turned his head to look over to her laying right beside him. She was still in a fit of laughter and just watching her laugh had brought a smile to his face. He couldn’t help it. She looked beautiful when she laughed and he began to feel intoxicated by it. He let himself join her in laughter. It felt good to laugh with her. It felt good to just laugh. He couldn't remember the last time he allowed himself to laugh. Ben hadn't let himself be this happy in a long time. He didn't know the last time he had felt this good. It was because of Rey. She had this effect on him.

When Rey quieted, she looked over to Ben, intrigued to hear to his laugh for the first time. Here was a man who was so serious and diligent all the time, letting loose and enjoying himself. She watched him with a smile. He was utterly beautiful to her then. She could never tire of seeing him happy like this. She wanted him to be happy. It made her feel good. She felt safe around him like this.

Ben had gradually come down from his laughter high and looked over to Rey and realized that she had stopped laughing a while ago and she was just watching him. Weirdly, he felt comforted by her gaze. He, too, felt safe with her like this.

Ben sat up on his side and rested his head up with one hand. Rey shifted to her side too, mimicking his position. They quietly just looked at each other. Ben thought of how they were just kissing. He wanted to kiss her again, but yet he felt nervous this time. He wondered how could he be so nervous now. He felt a mix of nervousness, excitement, and maybe even lust. Lust was new. He had never felt this way towards a girl before, but he was now most certainly sure that he lusted for Rey in ways more than just kissing. Sure, he wanted to kiss her, but he wanted to kiss her all over. He wanted to see her naked, he wanted to truly feel her, he wanted to do everything to her.

Letting his confidence take over, Ben went in for a kiss. He felt her lips part to let him in immediately. She had been waiting for him. Of course she had. She responded to his kiss with so much more need this time. With ease, Ben lifted himself over her so that he straddle her waist. He could feel her warm body against his. Rey reached up and tangled one of her hands in his hair pulling him as physically possible closer to her. Her breathe was getting quicker, her heart was beating faster, and so was his. He became so turned on when she tugged on his hair.

Rey was overwhelmed from the feeling of Ben pressed against her. She could feel his hardness rub her upper thigh. It was strange and new at how good that felt. She ran her hand through his hair. His hair was long and thick and she could easily hold on to it to pull him closer. She could feel him moan at every tug. These sounds of pleasure that she was enticing in him made her wet. She wanted more of him.

"Ben," she whispered between breaths as she kissed him. This caught his attention. He secretly craved it whenever she called him Ben. It sounded so right coming from her lips compared to anyone else . She had said his name and he could feel the need coming from her tone. Her breath was quick. She sucked on his lips and tongue, and it felt like nothing she had ever felt before. She wanted more and she knew what she had to do. She stopped kissing him so that she could get a clear view on his face.  Ben was vulnerable; the most vulnerable she had ever seen him.  He was truly Ben Solo in these moments to her. Rey had wanted nothing more than to break though from Kylo Ren to Ben Solo. It was Ben Solo who she was truly intrigued by. It was Ben Solo who she admittedly was falling in love with.

"Ben," she said again this time while both of them were looking into each other's eyes. They were frozen in time. As the world around them was falling apart, all they could focus on was each other. Rey looked into Ben's eyes as he listened to her call his name. He wanted her and not just to kiss her. This feeling was all new to him. He wanted to be closer to her. He didn’t know how but his instincts told him so, he just had to trust him. The way Rey looked at him, he knew instinctively that he had to fulfill her wants. He could tell that she wanted him in more than just kissing too. She truly wanted him; in her, and with her as one and he wouldn't deny her.

Ben fumbled for a second, unsure with what he was supposed to do. He had read books about mating and how to do it, but now that he was in the situation, it felt so different than he expected. This wasn’t mating, nor biology. This was love and attraction and his textbooks never covered this. Technically he wanted to mate her, he thought, but it was so much more than that. He wanted to love her, make her feel him love her; he wanted to be one with her. This wasn’t something he had learned about in a textbook. 

Ben took a while to look at Rey.  She was waiting for him. She wanted him and he had to be the one to do something about it.  He felt how hard he was becoming.  He was hungry for her and she was waiting. She wasn't running away. She wasn't pushing him away. She wasn't calling him a monster. She was saying his name to call him towards her, to entice him to her. He was afraid because he didn't like feeling uncertain. Rey had way with him that made him second guess everything he's ever known. She made him uncertain of himself. But he knew wasn't uncertain about one thing: that he also wanted this just as much as she did. They wouldn't have much time, though as the place was on fire and crumbling around him. He could do it, he told himself. He reached down and fumbled as he tried to undo Rey's pants. He was nervous but vigilant and he thought that vigilance mattered the most.

Rey watched him as he tried to undo her pants. She could tell he was nervous but she enjoyed watching him like this. It reminded her that Ben was just a man and she was just a woman. He had undone her pants and was struggling to pull them down her legs. She helped him by tugging her pants down her legs to quicker things up. She couldn't wait any longer as the excitement grew in her now that her pants were down. She wanted Ben between her legs. She had never wanted anyone like this. She wasn’t sure what she was doing, but it felt right and it excited her. Once her pants were down to her knees, she instantly went for Ben's pants. She began eagerly pulling at his pants trying to get them off. They were first order made, and probably weren't meant to be easily taken off for situations like this.  She couldn’t figure out how to get them off him so she tugged on them. Ben interrupted her tugging and pulling at his pants to do it himself. She probably could have figured out how to get them off, but he didn't want to want to wait. In a matter of time his pants were down to his ankles. They were both naked past their waists, well as naked as they could get. There wasn't any time, and anyone could walk in and find them, so this had to do.

She could feel the cold breeze between her legs. Just that alone, was exciting to her. She wondered what it would feel like to touch now that they both were naked below the waist. She leaned up to steal a kiss from Ben again. This brought him closer to her so that he could kiss her. She felt his length rub against her warmth for a short time as they kissed. Just that slightest touch, sent shivers through her body. He was warm and hard where she was soft and wet. Somehow this would happen.

She pivoted her hips just so that she could feel more of him. She felt Ben twitch at her touch. He was getting harder while she was getting wetter. Ben had frozen in place. She could feel his breath blowing against her lips as he was frozen in nervousness. It was her first time and she assumed it to be his first time as well from his anxiousness.

"Ben," Rey whispered as she tried to bring him back from his frozen state. Ben blinked his eyes and looked into hers. He wanted her so bad. His eyes were pleading with desire. He wanted this just as much as she did.  His heart was beating fast against hers.  He hesitated, unsure and suddenly doubtful that Rey would ever want this, want him. "Ben," Rey said one more time, while gently cupping his cheeks with her palms. She didn't want to beg him for it, but if he waited any more she couldn't take it. She could see the doubt forming in his face, and worried that this would never happen.

Ben was still waiting for some type of approval to waiver his doubt. He wanted to know for sure that this is what she wanted. He looked into her eyes for any indication, and just as if she was reading his thoughts, Rey nodded her head. It had felt like for a split second they were connected in the force. He could clearly see into her thoughts, but it wasn't like mind reading. He could see what she wanted right now and vice versa. Together they created a vision of both of them completely naked, in a bed somewhere, thrusting together to their own rhythm. The vision was only a second, but it felt longer. Rey had seen what he saw. They had created the vision together and now both wanted to make it a reality.

Rey could feel him at her entrance. Just the brush of his tip made her excited. He slowly entered her. It didn't hurt like she thought the first time would be. Actually, she didn't know how it was suppose to feel exactly. The sensation of him inside her, felt like nothing she had ever felt. He filled her in a way that she thought she had never needed before. He felt warm and good. _So good_. It was as if she was made for him and him, her.  They way they came together was pure perfection.

Ben slowly pulled out and then back in. He repeated his thrusts, each time picking up his pace with slight aggression. Rey could feel some pain, but it was good pain. She craved the pain and pleasure from Ben with each thrust. He grabbed her hands intertwining them together as he pushed them above her head and against the hard floor. Her hips began to buckle with his. They created a rhythm together, their rhythm. As he thrusted towards, she pushed back against him so that they were as close as possible together. She could feel herself come alive. Her body became warm as sweat formed all over her. Ben's response equally matched hers. He got more aggressed as he thrusted. Each push against her hips sent her railing into pleasure. She soon forgot the pain and focused entirely on the pleasure that he, that this, gave her. She could feel herself began to hit a climax as her breathe got heavier, her temperature got hotter, her moans increased, and her aggression for this sexual tension to subside.

Before she could reach her climax, Ben' s thrusts suddenly became much more quicker and eager. He pounded into her, hands clenched together, bodies smashing into one another at speed that Rey became uncomfortable with. The pain creep up underneath all the pleasure that she was feeling at the moment, but his increased pace was both painfully desirable. She didn’t want him to stop as much as it started to hurt. Ben became much too wrapped up in his pleasure and needs. He faded out of reality and just needed to release himself. He was young, it was his first time, and he was comprised. Within a few short minutes he had come.

 

Ben had laid in the opposite direction of Rey, unwilling to meet her. He was embarrassed. He was thought he was ready, that he could do it; be a man and give his woman what she deserved. But he failed.  He lasted only a few minutes, finishing before she did. He had done it all wrong. He unconsciously became too focused on himself that he forgot about Rey's needs and wants. He wanted to love her, but he couldn’t even do that.

"Ben. Honestly it's not that bad." Rey tried to comfort him as she wrapped her arms around his waist. They laid on the cold floor for some time.

Rey had enjoyed herself. She didn’t quite achieve the climax that Ben had. It was over so fast, but she really didn't know what else to expect. They had connected, and shared a moment so precious and pure, and she loved every short second of it. She laid with Ben now, spooning him. He had climaxed, probably way too soon. She wasn't mad at him for it but she could clearly see that this upset him. She spooned him in her arms as she recalled what his climax was like.

 

She couldn't tell if it was pleasure or pain at this point but she was enjoying it. One second Ben was thrusting into her with determination, and then suddenly he had stopped. He froze as came inside.  His moans became grunts as he filled her. His cum was warm and welcoming inside her as he twitched in release. She could feel everything and it honestly was weirdly pleasurable. Rey laid there, feeling him inside her. Just as quickly as it started though, it ended. Ben rolled over in disgust and embarrassment with himself, unwilling to meet her eyes.

"Will you look at me?" She asked him. Ben was hesitant, but he turned around to meet her. 

As he laid next to her looking into her eyes, a sudden realization hit him. He couldn’t lose her. They were supposed to be enemies fighting on opposite sides and yet here they lay. After this what would happen to them? Would they go back to fighting against each other? He didn't want that. All that he knew now was that he wanted Rey. He didn’t just want her physically. Ben wanted Rey in all the ways. He was falling in love with her and he couldn’t lose her. He had lost everything that was important to him, that had made him Ben before there was Kylo Ren. Ben panicked, unsure of how else to keep her.

Without thinking he began, "It's time to let old things die…"


	3. Chapter Two

It has been three months since Rey last saw Ben. A whole three months since the Resistance escaped unseen from the First Order. The resistance managed to make it to the planet Crait, a former rebel outpost. Unnoticed, they set up base on the planet in anticipation that the First Order would soon come to find them. It was a barren place, but at least everyone was safe.

  
Over the past month or so Rey started to become ill. At first she thought that she was indeed ill, but as time passed on and her symptoms became more distinctive and certain, she realized what it could possibly be. She sat in the Millennium Falcon alone now awaiting the results.

  
Rey hoped that it would be something different, anything but this. She could handle being sick, but she wasn't so sure that she could handle this. The anticipation made her nervous and anxious. When it was time, Rey went to look. Her heart dropped as she read the result.

 

_Pregnant._

 

How could this be? She wanted so badly to deny it. If she was…pregnant, then this would change everything. What would she do? Where would she go? A war is no place to raise a kid. What about the resistance? They needed her. What about Ben? No, Ben wouldn't be in the picture anymore. He had made his choice clear.

So many thoughts ran through her mind. So many questions and no answers.

No…

She couldn't be.

_I couldn't be_ , She thought.

But she was.

"Rey!" She heard her name being called, along with footsteps entering the Falcon. "Rey are you in here?"

Before she had time to even process what she was feeling with this news, Finn had walked in on her. She had quickly hidden the test out of sight once she heard the footsteps coming towards her. She wasn't ready for anyone to find out. Especially Finn. Rey had no idea what future lay before her now, and she couldn't even have the time or privacy to figure out.

"Ah there you are." Finn stopped at the doorway. He felt that there was something off about Rey. She was quiet. She didn't greet or even acknowledge his presence. Something was wrong. He went over and sat next to her.

Somehow Finn's presence suddenly so near to her and her fragile emotional state upon learning that she was pregnant, sent uncontrollable tears. She started crying, unable to contain herself.

"Woah, woah, hey." Finn was unsure what was happening, surprised at her sudden outburst. He tried to wrap an arm around her to comfort her, but she just shrugged him off.

"It's nothing," Rey said as she wiped away the tears running down her cheeks. Seeing as that wasn't helping, and neither was sitting there in silence, Rey stood up. She quickly walked out of the room and out the Falcon, fast enough before Finn could follow her. She vigorously wiped the tears from her face, told herself to be brave, and went back to her normal routine.

Routine is what she needed to keep her mind busy. She wouldn't give herself time to process or even think about her situation. Dealing with it would only make her unstable and emotional, and that's not who she wanted to be right now; that's not who the resistance needed right now. She could avoid this, but not for long. She had maybe another month or so before she would start to show and people would start to raise questions. Until then, she would go on living like nothing changed.

 

 

And nothing did change. Everyone was busy with preparing for the inevitable First Order attack. They were all that was left of the Resistance and they couldn't lose. Losing now would be the end for all of them. Rey kept herself busy with mindless work around the base. She avoided Finn's questions and concerns and focused on her work. As the weeks went on she found herself becoming tired often. Unable to focus and keep active for as long as she used to, she had to take breaks. Finn had grown even more concerned about her, realizing that she took more breaks, even napped during the daytime. That was unlike her completely.

Rey laid in bed now, neglecting to get up or leave the Falcon to partake in her daily duties. This wasn't how she had expected her day to go. She knew that this time was coming, but for some reason she mentally blocked herself from thinking about. If she thought about, she'd worry about, and her mental block would come undone and she wouldn't know how she could handle it. But here she was now, trying to handle it.

Her hand rested above the round bump on her abdomen. It was there, there was no denying it now. This baby inside her was real, it was growing, unaware of its mother's dilemma. Rey ran her palm around the bump. The sensation sent chills down her spine and love in heart. She was scared, more now than ever because she couldn't hide this. She _shouldn't_ hide this. This was her baby and she was unequivocally helplessly falling in love with it. The worry and fear she had felt in the beginning was fading now. Her terrified feelings were be replaced with strength and courage. She would need the courage to protect her baby from the one person who she shouldn't have to protect it from, it's father.

Rey thought about Ben. He wouldn't be a good father. She couldn't imagine what he would do if he found out about this baby. Ben wasn't safe right now, and Rey would have to protect their child from him. She imagined if things had gone differently that day. If Ben hadn't betrayed her trust, if Ben had stayed with her. He would be here with her now. She wouldn't have to do this alone. Rey desired his presence to be a father to their child, but knew it was foolish to think so. It was probably just her hormones. He wouldn't never be there for the child, just like he would never be there for her.

Rey began to sob, uncontrollably. She was no longer sad about the fact that she was pregnant. That was evident now. Somehow, she quickly overcame those feelings. She was a mother now, and needed to be what her baby needed. But the thought that Ben was out of the picture, well he wasn't out of the picture. He was very much still in the picture in the way that him and a bunch of the First Order were actively seeking the last of the Resistance out, that included herself, to destroy them. It was a twisted situation that she was in. She was angry with Ben. She thought about how much she wanted to fight him for making things like this.

A soft tap on the wall across the ship alerted her. She had been unaware that anyone had entered the ship, caught up in her feelings. She sat up, pulled her clothes down over her bump and wiped away tears, trying to be inconspicuous. It wouldn't help though, because her eyes were still very wet.

General Organa entered the room and strode over to her. She paused at the sight of Rey. Rey realized that she must have looked a lot worse than she thought. She had been lying in bed, sobbing for who knows how long. General Organa sat down next to Rey on the bed.

"Everyone's worrying about you. You've been isolating yourself, and today you didn't even show up. It's the afternoon, Rey. Finn sent me to come check on you. He thinks you're upset with him." General Organa's voice sounded disappointed. Rey hadn't meant to be disappointing. She was trying her best, under her circumstances.

"Well?" General Organa lead on. She was waiting on an explanation from Rey. Rey debated on how she should answer. Should she tell her everything? Maybe she could just tell her about the baby. But then that would require her to explain how the baby even came about. So she might as well just tell her everything. It felt right that General Organa would be the first to know. After all, it was her grandchild that Rey was carrying. She thought about how strange that was.

"Well," Rey began. She was unsure how to tell her everything. She didn't want to start off too shocking, but everything that she needed to say would be shocking. I'm pregnant. Ben's the father. You're gonna be a grandparent. There would be no easy way to this.

"I'm pregnant." It was best to drop the bomb, Rey decided. She had expected for General Organa to gasp or say something, but she sat quietly waiting for an explanation, Rey assumed.

"I know it's disbelieving, but true." Rey paused, unsure of where to start because of the lies that she told everyone about why she was with Ben in the first place.

"I was never captured and I didn't escape from Snoke's flagship. I went there on my own to see Ben and I left freely. It's hard to explain to anyone, but maybe you're the only who would understand. I needed him, and he needed me. Our futures were intertwined. I felt that there was still good in him and I wasn't wrong. He saved my life. He killed Snoke to save me. I thought we would be together. I was wrong. After everything we went through, he wanted me to join him and make a new order. He wanted me to betray all of you. As much as I wanted to believe in him, it broke my heart to leave him. And now..."Rey paused.

"Now, I'm pregnant." It was relief to Rey to finally have someone to confide in.  
General Organa sat there in silence for a moment. It was probably, no definitely, a shock to her.

"You're pregnant," General Organa stated. Rey wondered what she could be thinking. She hadn't had any contact with her son in years. Her son who she still believed had good him in. Her son who killed the man she loved; who killed his own father. How could her son…how could Rey? How did they even know each other?

"I won't lie, this is a complete shock to me. I'm sure you know, I have many questions for you…" she trailed off.

"Who knows?" She asked Rey. Before Rey could answer her, she answered herself. "No else knows…that's why…you…" General Organa was slowly putting the clues together.

"I'm not sure how to tell the others." Rey thought about their reactions. They would repulsed, disgusted, and disappointed with her. They would see her as a traitor, and she was anything but. They wouldn't understand the whole story. The Kyle Ren that was a monster, who wanted to kill the Resistance, wasn't the Ben that she knew. They weren't the same person, not to her.

"This could be a blessing in disguise. This could bring Ben home." General Organa hoped as she clasped Rey's hands. She always had hope for her son even after everything he had done. She was the only other person who understood that Ben wasn’t Kyle Ren and vice versa. Rey took comfort in the General's words, but had a feeling that Ben wasn’t coming back. If she couldn't bring him back, nothing would.

 

 

Rey had left him there, unconscious. Many scenarios ran through mind. She could bring him back with her, but the Resistance would take him prisoner. He would be put on trial and convicted, no mercy shone. She wouldn't be able to convince them of the Ben that she knew. She could take him somewhere isolated. He could be her prisoner. She could break him. But he would just escape, meanwhile the war would still continue and she would leave the Resistance without her. Or she could leave him here.

In the short time that had together, they had created something beautiful. It was as if the rest of the galaxy had faded away and they weren't in the middle of a war. Nothing mattered except them. Then Ben had to ruin everything. He had asked her to forget about the war, the good and the bad. He wanted her to join him to create something new. He wanted her to rule with him. Briefly, very briefly, Rey _had_ considered his proposal. It would have meant that they would be together, and that's what she wanted. But Rey wasn't a ruler, and she never would be. She couldn't go down that path with him. Ben was still very much influenced by his dark self. His proposal seemed honest and good to himself, in ending the war by eliminating all sides. His dark desire to rule and control was not a life Rey wanted to be a part of. That was Kylo Ren speaking, and she wanted nothing to do him.

Rey was torn. She wanted for him to come to light on his own. He was so close. Her heart broke realizing that he might never be redeemed. She couldn't save him, and honestly it wasn't up to her to save him. He had to save himself.

Rey realized that she couldn't stay there with him. The Resistance needed her as they were making their escape.

"Please," Ben begged as he stepped closer to her. He was desperate for her acceptance. At her hesitance, he was now growing doubtful. He had anticipated her to join him because he believed that this would be what was best for them. If they could be together did anything else really matter?

Conflicted and broken hearted, Rey did the only thing she had to. She didn’t want to hurt Ben, but it was the only way. She reached for the lightsaber first. It was no good, because Ben was ready to counter her, pulling it back to him. This was a battle neither of them would win, it was clear as the light saber was being equally pushed and pulled between them. All Rey could recall was the force and how she no longer felt connected to Ben through it. Instead she felt a clear separation between their forces battling against each other. She was unsure what would happen because someone was bound to break. And something did break.

They both were thrown on the floor unconscious. The ship around them was falling apart. Rey had awoken in a blur. Desperate to rejoin her friends, she quickly went to pick up the broken light saber and be on her way. She couldn’t leave this behind for him. _She couldn't leave him behind._ The thought passed through her mind momentarily. Ben had made his mind up when he asked to leave it all behind. What good would that do her anyways. He was selfish and even though Snoke was gone, he was still letting the dark side influence him. Rey couldn’t look back anymore. She had to let him go.

 

  
At some point Rey would have to tell the others. She didn’t want them to make any assumptions and gossip about her. To them she was a leader, and so she needed to act like one and tell them. She didn’t want anyone to think that Ben forced himself on her. No. Definitely not that. Ben was a monster, but not that kind of monster. She would want them to know that, yes Ben was on the dark side, but he was conflicted. He may be Kylo Ren, but that's not who he truly was. He could turn. Although Rey was sure that he would never turn now since he had asked her to run off with him and start a new order, but she wouldn’t tell them that. They would need to know that he wasn't all bad; that this baby was made from love.

She would tell them, but first she had to tell Finn. Finn was important to her and as of late, she had been snubbing him. Mainly because she felt as if she couldn’t tell him and she had to hide the pregnancy from him. Out of everyone else, this news would be the hardest for him. Finn had a grudge against the first order unlike anyone else, because that used to be his life. He wouldn’t like what Rey would have to tell him.

After her talk with General Organa, Rey felt more relieved about everything. Sure, it wasn’t the best timing, and sure, the father of her baby was trying to kill them all, but somehow Rey had something to fight for and that made her stronger. She knew what side she belonged to.

She found Finn and informed him that there was something she needed to tell him. She brought him outside and they climbed silently around the mountain, until Rey was sure that they were far enough away from anyone to hear. They sat on some red rocks exposed from the salt that covered the world. They could see the sun setting in the distance.

Finn spoke first, "What's so important that you had to bring me all the way out here to tell me?"

Rey could hear it in his voice that he was still slightly upset at her for avoiding him and being short with him these past few weeks.

"Promise me you won't get mad," Rey told him. She knew that the news she would tell him would make him mad anyways.

"I won't get mad," Finn replied instantly.

"No, you have to promise me you won't get mad."

"Ok, I promise I ..."

"No," Rey interrupted him, feeling that he wasn't taking this seriously. "What I'm about to tell you, you might find upsetting, so you need to promise me, and I mean it, promise me that you won't get mad."

"Rey, I promise I won't get mad," Finn said more seriously this time.

Rey accepted his promise. She thought about how much she missed bantering with Finn like this. She had never had a friend like him before and wondered if what she was about to tell him would change their friendship.

"I want you to know that you didn’t do anything wrong. These past couple of months, I've been dealing with some personal things and I just needed some space. It wasn’t anything against you. I want to tell you something; I want you to be one of the first people to know.

"To know what?" Finn interrupted. He didn't mean to, but he was eager to hear what she had to tell him. He felt that whatever it was, was something big. He ran through ideas in his mind.

"You are probably not going to like what I have to say…" Rey was starting to second guess herself. She had to go through with it though. She had to be brave, and be a leader.

"Ben never hurt me, or captured me. I went to him actually. He.."

"Ben?! Is that what you're calling him now? Are you friends with _him_?" Finn interrupted before she could even say anymore. "You went to _him_?!" Rey?" She could hear the disappoint in his tone.

"Finn!" Rey raised her voice at him. "Will you just listen to me?"

Finn was taken aback by her tone. He began to wonder why was she being so defensive and what was she getting at. So far, everything that she just said brought shock to him. What else was there?

Rey was ready to tell Finn everything. She was fueled by his accusations and she wanted to prove him wrong. Before she could even get out another word a First Order fighter flew over them. Then another followed by many more, and then a First Oder ship.  
The first order was here.

 

 

Without thinking both Finn and Rey jumped up from where they sitting. They hurried down the mountain back to the base. There, everyone was already getting in positions. They all knew that this day would come and they were prepared. Rey would control a ski speeder and be out there with Finn and Poe as planned. They wouldn't use the Falcon. It was too risky. If things went south here, that would be their escape ship.

Together Finn and Rey ran to meet up with Poe. On their way they passed General Organa. The General reached out and grabbed Rey's arm pulling her close so that she could whisper in Rey's ear.

"Don't you think you should sit this out?" she asked Rey.  
For a moment Rey had completely forgot her condition. She was going to battle just like she's always done. It was her duty and the Resistance needed her. She did it without a second thought.

"I have to. I'll be okay," Rey hurried away from General Organa to catch up to Finn. It was probably not the best idea for her or her baby to go into a battle, but she believed that she would make it out of this. She had something to fight for, not just the resistance, but for her child. She couldn't just sit this out. She needed to be part of the action. People would question her loyalty more than ever once she revealed the news of her pregnancy. She had to show them that she was part of the Resistance.

Rey joined back up with Finn who was already with Poe. Before they split up to board their ships, Rey caught a glance of uncertainty from Finn. He was probably concerned about what she had told him. She hadn't really told him much, except that the little that she did say kind of sort of made her allegiance seem questionable. _Are you friends with him? You went to him?_ The complete hatred Finn had for Ben and anything associated with the First Order rang through in his voice. She felt hurt by his accusations now rather than anger. She tried not to dwell on it.

While Rey was boarding and prepping her ski speeder she couldn't help but wonder if Ben was out there. A part of her wished he was, but a part of her also wished that he wasn't. She wanted to see him even though he broke her heart. She had left him there without an explanation, without closure.

Rey had to stop thinking about Ben or Finn. She really needed to focus on her task. Over the past months, when she was feeling better, she had been working on improving this ski speeder. It was originally old and terribly defenseless. Now it was still old but at least it had better defenses.

Along with Finn, Poe, and everyone else, Rey began to stir her ski speeder out of the base into open terrain. Even though they had these, the resistance was lacking fighters in the sky. They were taking massive hits from the First Orders walkers. It would only be so long before they would most likely have to retreat.

She began to wonder if they would make it out alive. _Would this be the end of the Resistance?_ It sure looked like it. But the Resistance always made it through, somehow, and so would she. She had to. Rey soon started to doubt her choice to stay with the Resistance. These people were her home and family. It wasn't safe, but it was home to her. To stay with the Resistance meant that war would always follow them. All of this violence was no place to have a baby or raise one. Never knowing when you be attacked, always moving from place to place. It just wouldn't be fair to her child. She realized that she would have to leave soon, to find a safer place to have her baby and raise it.

 

 

_And then she felt something._ Rey became distracted from controlling her ski speeder as she started to focus on what she was feeling. At first her mind went straight to Ben. Was it their force bond, she thought. No. This was something different, something more physical than that. It came from deep within her, like little flutters in her stomach. They were barely distinctive flutters, but Rey felt them.

Could it be?

Is it?

The flutters began to grow in strength. Rey felt her baby move within her as she instinctively reached down to also feel with her hand. She became overwhelmed with the love she had for this baby. She wanted to protect it and care for it. She would do anything for it. She concentrated on trying to feel the flutter of movement coming from her abdomen, but it suddenly went away.

Rey felt eyes on her. She wasn't alone in this moment. Somehow Ben was there. She gasped silently at the shock of seeing him. The same pretty eyes she was so familiar with were looking back at her. It had been nearly four months ago since she left him. He was there now. She studied his face for any recognition of the man she left behind. Where ever Ben was now, he kept still, didn't talk and barely moved his gaze form her eyes. She could see a man who felt more lonely than ever before, trapped in a role he didn't ask for, more torn between who he truly was and who he was expected to be. Rey could see that this sudden force bond wasn't just a shock for her either.

She wondered how long he had been there. His gaze fell from her eyes to where her hand was touching her lower stomach. _He knew._ He had felt it too. They both felt it, and it wasn't just the flutters. There was a force present, different than the force bond that brought them together. It was the purest form of the force they've ever felt. It had to have pulled them back together in this bond that Rey was sure had been severed. This pure untainted force resonated from the baby she was carrying.

Ben was there in front of her, but not actually. In real time she was steering her ski speeder in a small cockpit. She tried to do her best to focus on steering clear of any hits to her speeder while also trying to stay in the force bond with Ben. She had missed him whether she wanted to or not. She was angry and upset with him, and she wanted to yell at him, but the sudden shock of seeing him after so long made her realize how much she did miss him.

Rey watched Ben as he came closer. She was met with the same pretty eyes she had looked into many times before. She wanted to be mad at him as he drew nearer, but she couldn’t really. Love or whatever it was that she felt towards him, wasn't something she could control. Especially when they were connected with something as intimate as a force bond.

"Rey! Rey! Are you there?!" She could hear distant yells coming from her jet. She was too entrapped in her force bond with Ben. She didn’t want to leave him, not yet. He was here with her and she had missed him, even though she had left him. It was as if she had forgotten everything that he had said to her last. She knew that she was being foolish, but she felt herself being drawn to him and vice versa.

Ben was so close to her now. If she reached out she would be able to touch him. Rey desired his touch and just as if Ben was reading her thoughts he began to reach his hand out in an eerily familiar way.

"Rey, look out!"

 

There was a loud sound, a blast. Rey was forcibly pulled away from Ben in their bond. Along with that, she was also pulled away from reality as everything went black and she passed out.


	4. Actually Chapter Three

Ben was abruptly pulled from the force bond. He had been just inches from reaching her. He couldn’t believe she was there. _Here_.

He wasn’t sure how he felt. It had been months since he had last saw Rey. She had left him broken-hearted and alone. Ben wasn’t good with keeping his emotions in check, he knew that. His broken heart needed to cope and the only way he knew how to cope was with anger. He had been unforgivable to anyone that got his way. He focused all of his attention to finding the Resistance and to eradicate them for good. He made himself believe that he didn’t care about Rey. Since she had left him then that had meant that she didn’t care about him, or want him. He didn’t care what happened to her. If she got in his way of eliminating the Resistance, then he wouldn’t save her. But like most things, Ben was wrong and naïve.

 

“She’s been hit, that Resistance Jedi has been hit!” Ben heard someone say. He was standing in the control room of his ship overlooking the battle down below.

“Without their Jedi, they’re nothing.” He heard more people chime in about the fallen Jedi.

Ben was slowly coming back from being in the bond. He really couldn’t believe it. All this time separated from her, upset at her and himself, but the moment he was with her in that bond is was like those months of loathing never happened. And then the realization of her pregnancy. Ben didn’t know if he was angry, happy, or sad. The most basic of emotions and he didn’t know how he felt. Surprised? Maybe. But he felt nothing. He was in shock most likely.

 

 

“Did you hear that? Supreme leader?” Hux stood next to him.

“What?” Ben focused back to reality.

“Their Jedi,” Hux stated.

“Their Jedi?”

“Yes. The girl. She’s been hit. We’re finally going to rid the galaxy of Jedi once and for all.” Hux said irritably.

_That’s why they suddenly disconnected._ Her vessel had been hit. Rey had been hit and everyone around him was celebrating and about to take her out for good.

“Wait.”

“Excuse me?” Hux turned to face him, confused.

Ben reached out to grab Hux’s neck by an invisible force, pushing him up in the air and chocking the breathe from him. “You heard me. No one touch her. The girl is mine,” Ben said through clenched teeth. Ben threw Hux across the room and crashed him into some others who were watching the whole showdown. He didn't have to do that, but he wanted to remind everyone who was in charge.

“Bring me down to her.” No one dared to question his authority now. Everyone went back to their positions, Hux recomposed himself and stood warily behind his supreme leader unquestioningly. His crew brought his ship down to the battle ground. Many of the Resistance fighters lay fallen sprawled around their own base. This battle was nearly over.

Ben wasn’t sure what he was going to do. Rey was in danger, but it wasn’t just her. Somehow Ben had to save her but at the same time keep his people, the First Order, from knowing his true intentions of saving her. They wouldn’t approve and he didn’t know how well he would be able to protect her if suddenly everyone wanted to overthrow him. For now, he would save Rey under the guise of a prisoner. It was the best he could think of.

Once they landed on the ground Ben ordered for his crew to remain inside as he went to get the girl.  Ben hurried as fast as he could, without making it seem like he was in a hurry. He became increasing worried for Rey as he approached her crashed ski speeder. _No._ Ben began to think the worst. _How long had she been down here? Where were her people? Is she alive?_

He approached her ship and  saw her through a window that she was unconscious, and bleeding from the head. _Oh no._ Ben began to desperately pull on the hatch to open it. He didn’t think to use the force, but he didn’t need it anyways. The door released  easily. He reached and as gently as possible, Ben scooped Rey out and into his arms. She was alive, but unconscious and probably injured. He carried her back to his ship through the battle going on around them. It was like the first time he had carried her back to his ship, trying to get the map from her mind. He convinced himself that that was what he was trying to do then, but ultimately he had wanted to get to know her.

 

 

And just like before, Finn watched from afar as Ben carried an unconscious Rey into his ship.

 

 

 

Rey jolted awake. She was now laying upon some bed. Last she remembered was seeing Ben. They had been brought together in a force bond by their unborn child. Rey’s hand instinctively went down to touch her stomach. It was an action she seldom did before, but now it seemed so natural. It was comforting for her to feel her stomach and know that there was a baby growing unconcerned inside her. She calmed from the sensation and began to take in her surroundings. She wasn’t in her ski speeder anymore. Wherever she was, it was dark and quiet.

“You’re awake,” she heard a familiar voice coming from the darkness. She instantly knew who it was, as he came out from a corner in the room.

She wondered if this was still within their force bond. She began to look around to observe where she was. She noticed that she was on a First Order ship from the looks of it, but how did she get here? If this was a force bond then she shouldn’t be able to see his surroundings. Rey became concerned and she started to sit up from where she lay.

“You shouldn’t push yourself too much just yet.” Ben hurried over to her and gently helped anchor her arm to steady herself as she sat up. She let him help her, surprised that he was actually physically there touching her.

“How did I get here?” Rey asked Ben. “What happened?”

“Your fighter was hit. You were blown out of the sky… I saved you.” He calmly said.

“You saved me?” Rey had a hard time believing him. Where were her people? Why was she on a First Order ship? She realized that she wasn’t being cuffed or restrained in any way.

“Rey, how do you feel?” Ben gave her a concerning look. She wanted to ask him so many questions but how did she feel? She felt fine, a little shaken, her head hurt a bit. Rey touched where the pain was emitting from on her forehead. She had been cut in her crash most likely, but now it had been bandaged.

“I feel fine. I need to go. I shouldn’t be here.” Rey kicked her legs over the bed, ready to stand up.

“Rey, you can’t go. Just not yet.” Ben went over to stand in front of her, blocking her way.

“You’re not telling me about anything. What happened to everyone?  The battle? Why did you bring me here? Why can’t I go yet?” Rey stood up and tried to get around Ben but his big frame blocked her every move. She felt a little dizzy and slow.

“You were going to die down there!” He raised his voice just a little. He didn't want to frighten her and so he quietly added, “…both of you.” It was the first time Rey had heard him acknowledge their baby. It caught her off guard.

“I would have been rescued.” Rey found an opportunity to slide past Ben.

“Not by any of _them_. I don’t know if you noticed but you guys were outnumbered. No one was going to come help you. Please sit back down Rey."

Rey suddenly remembered that they had been in the middle of a war. If she had been shot down then what happened to everyone else. She went to sit back on the bed, not because he told her to, but because she suddenly felt weak in the legs at the realization that everyone was most likely dead. “Ben,” she knew that if she addressed him with his name, she would have his full attention. “What happened?”

“When I saw that you were hit and no one was coming to your aid. I couldn’t leave you there…especially in your condition.”

“Wow, ok so it was because of my ‘condition’ that you saved me?! So if I wasn’t pregnant, you’d let me die?” Rey interrupted him, going off on a rant.

“Rey, I didn’t mean that.” Ben tried to interject her, but it didn’t help.

“No that’s exactly what you meant. You don’t care about me. You never have. All you cared about was what I could do for you.” She paused as she calmed down a bit. “I believed that you cared for me. I believed that there was still good in you. I saw it. But I was so clearly wrong.” She trailed off in thought.

Ben was hurt by her words. He was hurt with how the way she had come to think of him. Did she still view him as a sort of heartless monster? He didn’t understand why she didn’t understand him. Ben was trying to be better for her but it wasn’t easy; she wasn’t easy. She would always doubt him and accuse him the second things went wrong. She wouldn’t even try to understand why he had to do the things he had to do. Rey so badly wanted him to be this certain kind of person, but Ben could never be what she wanted. She kept talking about change and how she can change him and just turn him good, but it’s not that simple.

“There may be good in me. I believe you when you said that you saw it, but there’s also this other part of me. It’s dark and I can’t change it. I just can’t just get rid of it so easily. As much as you want it to go away, it’s a part of me. You need to accept that. If I say something wrong, you need to tell me. What happened back there on that ship? I said what I thought I needed to say to keep you, because I wanted you in my life. You need to tell me what I said wrong to make you leave. Rey, I’m trying to be better, but I need your help.” Ben sat down beside her.

“You seriously don’t get it do you?!” She said condescendingly.

“Help me understand.” Ben gently rested his left hand on top of her right which was laying on her lap. She didn’t retract, so that was progress.

Rey felt comfort in his touch. She had missed contact with him and she hated herself for enjoying it so much.

“You wanted me to join you, as if it’s that easy. We’re at war. We couldn’t just run off. People depend on me and I couldn’t abandon them. You were only thinking of yourself. You didn’t consider me, and it hurt because it felt like you didn’t care about me but only what I could do for you. Start a new order?! Why would I want that?”

The question ran through Ben’s mind over and over. _Why would she want that?_ He had acted without thinking because he didn’t want to lose her at the time . She was right, he realized now. Asking her to join him so suddenly without even thinking about what she would be leaving behind was inconsiderate of him.

“I realize now that it was foolish of me to even ask you. I was just so caught up in the moment…” he nudged her and they both giggled at their inside joke. “I didn’t want to lose you,” He confessed.

“But you did.” Rey stiffened and release her hand from under his, the moment fleeting. “And now look at us, Ben. We’re right were we left off. Except…” Rey trailed off thinking about her baby. She wrapped her arms around her small belly. She watched Ben as he looked down at her arms clutching her belly in longing. She knew he wouldn’t ask or dare. Even though she had made the assumption that Ben was ill equipped to be a father, she shouldn’t at least deny him the chance to try.

Rey laid back on the bed and pulled her shirt up slightly over her belly. Her small baby bump sat there exposed.

“I’m not showing much because it’s only been about four months but there she is.”

“She?” Ben slowly placed his hand on her belly. He was eager to get to know this spirit that growing so unaware of the galaxy around it.

“Well I don’t know if she's a she. I never really thought about that. It just kind of came out.”

“She.” Ben stated. “I like it.”

Ben was intrigued. He couldn’t take his eyes away. He had never thought of becoming a father. It wasn’t something he cared for. He had other things occupying his mind. But now, he could clearly see that Rey was pregnant. This was his baby and he would do anything to protect her. He leaned in closer to place his ear to Rey's belly. Rey sat there in shock. Here was a man, who had done some evil thing and yet he was here fawning over their baby. Rey began petting his dark luscious hair as he laid there listening to her belly. Ben didn’t flinch away from her touch. She wondered if he could hear anything. They sat there like that in silence for who knew how long. Somehow in this unfamiliar room, Rey felt at home with Ben and their baby. They felt like a family now.

Rey thought about how she couldn’t even remember her family anymore. Although Ben still had a mother, he truly didn’t have a family either. They were two people who didn’t belong anywhere, but they obviously belonged together. It was fate.

“We have to go.” Ben abruptly got up and started frantically putting supplies together. “It’s not safe here.”

“What about…” Rey began but he cut her off.

“Look, I’m not telling you to join me or to desert the Resistance, but she needs you. She needs both of us. This is no place for our baby.”

Rey suddenly felt turned on by this protective father role Ben was becoming. “Where will we go?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“What about the Resistance, and your mother?”

“They’re most likely already dead.” Ben said flatly. He saw that what he said had hurt Rey's feelings so he quickly changed his response, “the…the Resistance will find a way. They always do.”

Ben stopped packing and went over to Rey. He gently grabbed her by the arms, rubbing them up and down for reassurance. “Please wait here. I’ll be right back.” Ben kissed her on the forehead and then he left.

Rey couldn't help but smile from his tender kiss. He made her feel good so easily. She couldn’t believe that she was actually doing this and running away with him. Did that make her a hypocrite? But things were different now. This time was a different situation. They were in this together. They had a common interest. Rey wondered if this baby would change Ben, she thought back to what he had told her though. She needed to accept him for him and stop trying to hope for some change, he admitted that he couldn’t change but what she just witnessed was change.

Rey sat back down on the bed to wait for Ben. Would she really go with him? He would protect them, but then what? Would they live in hiding forever? It wasn’t realistic. Ben would get them to safety but was he reliable? Just then when Ben was bonding with their baby, she had seen a change in him. It was like a light has been switched on and suddenly Ben had a new purpose. Rey still didn’t know if she could trust him. What if he wanted to use her and their child to create this “new order” that he spoke of. What if this was a trap? He wouldn’t do that to her, would he? Rey had to put faith in him. And so she waited.

 

 

Rey began to worry as she waited. Ben wasn’t back yet. Concerned that something went wrong, Rey got up and headed towards the door. She wouldn’t go too far because she didn’t even know where she was. Ben had said that he would come back too. She couldn’t wait here any longer though.

Rey exited the room very cautiously. The hall was quiet and empty. As she stepped out into the hall, she suddenly heard footsteps and whispered voices coming from around a corner at the end of the hall. Rey snuck back into the doorway so that she wasn’t seen. The whispers grew louder as whoever was approaching now was going to turn the corner and come in her direction. Rey quietly slide back into the room so she wouldn’t be noticed. She closed the door behind her but stood just behind it so that she could hear whoever was passing by.

“Where do you think everyone is?” She heard a voice say.

“It doesn’t matter.” Another replied. The voice sounded familiar to her but she was doubtful.

“But don’t you think it’s strange that no one's around?” It seemed to be only two people walking towards her out in the hall.

“I do, but right now that’s a good thing. We need to find Rey. She is here somewhere.” Rey realized who’s the familiar voice was. She opened the door to reveal herself.

“Finn!?”

Finn had pulled out his weapon in reflex but upon seeing Rey he quickly dropped it and went in for a hug.

For a short while, Rey had thought that she would never see Finn again. She had made the decision to leave with Ben, but not once did Finn ever cross her mind in her decision. Sure, she worried about the Resistance that she would leave behind, and even a small part of her believed that they might all be dead. But never did she consider Finn. Her priorities had changed and she felt bad for forgetting her closest friend.

It felt reassuring to be held in his arms.

"What are you doing here?" Rey asked as she released his embrace.

"When I saw that Kylo Ren took you, I couldn’t just let that happen. And we were…everyone…we were losing. We would have lost if they hadn't suddenly retreated. But I couldn't let him take you. Not again." Finn was in a fluster trying to explain things to her.

"Uh, we should get going." Poe was there scanning the hall back and forth, on guard.

Ben hadn't returned yet. Rey wanted to wait for him, but she also wanted to go with Finn. There was still hope for her people now that she knew that the Resistance hadn't all died. _But Ben._ He was going to come back and she wouldn’t be there. She would leave him again and this time it would probably be for good. For a brief time when it was just them and their baby laying together, Rey really felt like that they could be a family. They could make it work. But she belonged with the Resistance. It would be dangerous to stay with Ben. He was unpredictable and his plan of them running away was only temporary. What would happen to everyone else, what would happen to them once the baby was born?  If she went with Finn, she at least would have the stability of knowing that she could always rely on the Resistance.

"Rey come on!" Finn called out to her as he was walking away down the hall. She hurried along to join them. This would be better in the long run, she told herself.

"Rey!"

Rey turned around at the sound of her name being called. At the other end of the hall was Ben. He stood there surprised. Rey felt suddenly embarrassed that she was caught leaving like this. She could see the hurt and shock in his face. She wanted to go to him and explain herself but she was being pulled away. Literally. Finn was pulling her away as Poe quickly took out his gun and started firing at Ben.

"Don't shoot!" She yelled as, Finn steadily pulled her away. Poe ignore her and he continued to fire at an unarmed Ben.

"Rey!" Ben called after her again. She tried to pry herself out of Finn's grip and push Poe away to help Ben, but it was too late. She watched as Ben was hit once, and then twice. He fell to the ground.

"Ben! No!" Rey yelled. In her desperation to help him and stop Poe from shooting at him again and stop Finn from trying to pull her away, the force within her acted out instinctively. The gun in Poe's hand flew out and thrown across the hall towards Ben. Poe and Finn were forcibly pushed away from Rey throwing them against the walls. Now that Rey was free, she ran down the hall to Ben who was laying on the floor struggling to apply pressure to his wounds. Rey tried to help him but she wasn’t sure where he was injured. She was crying frantically now.

"You should go," Ben managed to say to her.

"What? No. I can't…"

"Rey, you don't have much time now. They are coming." Ben warned her. Rey felt silly that just a moment ago she was going to leave Ben but now she couldn't bring herself to actually leave him. She found his hand and held it while she sobbed. "Go!" Ben aggressively  yelled at her. She was startled, but she could hear the boots of the First Order walking towards them some halls down. She understood. They both couldn’t stay and they both couldn't leave. She had to go. It hurt her to leave him like this but he'd be okay. _Right?_

Ben looked away as she got up and left him. No goodbyes or anything. Maybe it was better this way. She turned around to find that Finn and Poe had vanished. Rey hurried down the hall and around the corner to find Finn struggling to carry a limp Poe over his shoulders.

"What happened to him?" She asked.

"I think when you had that freak out you pushed him just a little too hard and he hit his head and passed out." Finn stated.  They tried their best to hurry along before the First Order caught up to them.

 

 

They had escaped somehow. They were on their way back to Crait. Rey didn’t realize that she had been up in space all this time. Finn had explain to her that once Kylo Ren had taken her, all the First Order ships had retreated back into space. The Resistance had suffered many casualties along with the First Order. The war wasn't over yet, though. Rey wondered if Ben had anything to do with their somewhat smooth escape from his ship. They were chased but only so far. It was like the First Order let them go practically.

"What happened back there, Rey?" Finn asked her, nervously.

She was quiet for some time, deciding how to answer his question. She looked back to see Poe still knocked out. She hoped he was alright. What she was going to tell Finn she wanted to make sure that Poe wasn’t listening. She hardly knew Poe and didn't feel comfortable if he knew.

"I'm pregnant," she said.

"Oh. OH. Ohhhh." Finn sat there quietly taking in what she had just told him. "You and Kylo Ren?When?...How?....Why?"

"It just happened. Somehow, we connected."

"Ew, Rey I don't need to know all the details." Finn scrunched up his face in disgust.

"Not like _that_. But we share this sort of bond through the force, where only we can communicate. We can't control it either. It comes and goes. When it comes, it's strong and mesmerizing. He's all I can see. And when it goes, I feel more alone than ever. We've gotten to know each other through this bond."

"Do you love him?"

"I do.  I had tried to tell myself that I didn't. He's not perfect. I know that. I know what he's done. I know what everyone says about him."

"Imagine what they'll say about you."

"Which is why I can't stay with the Resistance anymore. Once we get back to Crait, I'm packing my things and leaving." She finally decided that it was not a good idea to stay with the Resistance. She had to do this alone.

"Rey, you don't have to leave."

"No, I do. Imagine what everyone will think and say behind my back. They won't trust me. I can't be the leader they need. I can't put myself in danger anymore. It's not safe here. I don't want to leave, but I have to. This baby will change the galaxy. There's a force so present with her already. I can feel it. I can't be a part of this war. It was never my war anyways."

" _Her_ …." Finn trailed off in thought. He seemed conflicted and hurt. He always wanted to do the right thing. He believed that anything to do with the First Order was evil. In the  time that Finn had known Rey they had become best friends. How did he not notice that Rey was dabbling with the enemy?

What's happened has happened and Finn had to accept it. Finn would always support Rey, even now. He hated to think that Kylo Ren had become someone special to Rey, that they were going to have a child together, and that she loved him, and that maybe he loved her back. He was angry that out of everyone Rey could have chosen that she chose Kylo. If Finn really cared for his best friend, he would help her.

"Ok, what can I help you with?" Finn asked her as they pulled back into Crait's atmosphere.


End file.
